Books not Nooks

I like technology. I am technologically literate. I'm hip to the times....I think. However, I love books. I love libraries. I love bookstores. And, I like good old fashioned books. I love the aesthetic qualities of books. The smell of  paper and ink. The crispness of new pages, not yet turned. I love the sound, the subtle, crisp swoosh each time you turn a page. One of my dreams has always been to own a little bookstore, complete with stationary, journals, cards, trinkets and one of a kinds(umm...that just covers a bunch of random, cool gifty stuff). Here's what my logo would look like:

And I would call my store "The Well Worn Page".  What's your small business fantasy?

The Good, The Bad and the Birdcage.

"Some birds weren't meant to be caged." It's one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies: Shawshank Redemption. When I was in my early thirties, I even, impulsively, got a tattoo that alludes to that theme. I was wild with loneliness and regret over a break-up that had gone bad. Really bad. I spent four years with Good guy thinking I needed to break free from him, when what I really needed was to break  free from myself and all those pesky fears from past relationships. Nothing original  here, folks. I fell into a big cliche', and boy did I  play my part. Girl  has bad relationship with Bad boy in her twenties. Bad boy breaks her down mentally. Girl gets away after various horrors. Then, in early thirties, Girl meets Good guy, and the first year is spectacular. Then, Girl sabotages relationship, and on and on......I guess the O. Henry ending to this story is that I ended up marrying the Good guy.  But, here's the thing, I didn't  learn anything new during  the time I was separated  from Good guy.  I  just.....opened  my  cage. And I put all those past memories of Bad guy in a big red balloon, pulled it out of my head and watched it float away  until I couldn't see it anymore.

I've now been married to Good guy for four years, and give/take that nine month hiatus, we've been  committed to this relationship for ten years.It's a good thing. I'd really, really like to think most of us can  bypass the Bad guy/Bad girl experience  and still fully  appreciate  a good thing when we have  it. But, for me, I'm finally able to see the good  that came out of my Bad guy relationship. In  fact, I learned a lot from it. For one, I can identify a jerk in two minutes. Second, it's helped  me identify a Good guy.  Third, I will not hesitate to tell my dearest single girlfriends if I think the guy she is  dating is an asshole. I explain it nicely,  I think.  For the Single ladies: Let's say you are on a first date. Did you know a man will tell you more about himself in the first five minutes of a conversation than during the rest of the evening? So listen carefully. Want to know if he's going to marry, re-marry, have kids or more kids, and what he really thinks about women-all of that is revealed by the time you get  your first martini.

I digress. Bad guys, Good guys,  No guys....I think I was very lucky to have found  a man who loves me on days when I'm not even likable. Those days are almost non-existent as I've grown to like myself. People in partnerships truly are in an amazing agreement  when it comes  to love. The whole concept  of  taking on this stranger  and  building  on  what was initially just sexual  attraction, turning it into a  commitment of partnership and this undefinable thing called love is something fascinating that most of us yearn for and ultimately seek out and attempt to do. Successfully. At least once.

One of my single girlfriends is in the "marrying mood." She had a variation of Bad guy relationship. She has grown weary of being single, convinced that all of the Good guys are taken. She's a great lady. Looks, humor, enough southern charm to melt cold butter. How do I tell her to just....open the cage door?